Why hasn't this been thought of before!

brilliant.

(thanks I have seen the whole of the internet)

I always wanted a bunkbed...

(a particularly disturbing post from My First Dictionary)

Holy Crap! Is that what Ukrainians do?

Thanks, girl from Ukraine, for actually having talent.

(thanks I have seen the whole of the internet)

Make me a sammich!

(brilliant post by Shipment of Fail)

Take that "corporate viral videos!"

A great example of an authentic viral video that throws some blows to the sad corporate attempts to go viral. 3,619,544 views when I last checked!

And a great example of an Ad Agency mistaking/correctly identifying edgy as crude and slightly disturbing. They took down their site and replaced it with this series of interconnected YouTube videos.

.... that said, they do have half a million views, so they're obviously not completely full of it.

(thanks Laughing Squid)

Synesthesia

Clever elucidation of the phenomena.

(thanks Presurfer)

Here's an e-card... you bastid

Sometimes you gotta tell it like it is....

Today's word is List

(thanks My first dictionary)

It doesn't seem like it'd be that funny at first

...but replace the blood-curdeling dinosaur roars, over 70 seconds of it, and it starts to grow on you.

(thanks Presurfer)

Pac Man & Esoteric SF References.

Laughing Squid bubbles up twitter humor and obscure "you'd know what it is if you knew what it was" images.

Pacman joins Twitter:

San Francisco themed shirts... one of which I'm totally going to buy, I'm just not sure which one yet.

Bathtub V - Syndey Harbour

I will post everything Keith Loutit makes because it's (a) awesome and (b) reminds me of Mr. Rogers Neighborhood and Gumby in a strange way.

Bathtub V from Keith Loutit on Vimeo.

Blog barf

I've been here all along, I've just been silent for a while.

Let start with Funny or Die.

Casual Sex Episode Three: Positions from Andrea Savage

Rob Riggle makes it awkward.

Great To See You Feat. Will Arnett, Amy Poehler, Peter Serafinowicz and Sarah Alexander - watch more funny videos

Will Arnett makes it awkward.

I.F.H. MONDAY'S from Nick Swardson

Nick Swardson makes it awkward.

SportsCenter Short: Talking Only Through Twitter

Hilarious video of someone who chooses to communicate only through Twitter for one day. I get the feeling that it would only work out like this if you were famous.

Jon Stewart Sums it All Up.

Jon Stewart explains in all of 10 seconds how we went from peace to torturing people during the Bush Regime. Watch this 3 minute clip of brilliance from last Wednesday's Daily Show.

How to Get Bacon at Burning Man on Flickr - Photo Sharing!

mmm... bacon.

Crackers: 1984 Movie about the Mission District in SF

Despite the lineup (Donald Sutherland & Sean Penn among others) this was borderline unbearable were it not for the fact that I recognized a few of the places and was able to find many of them using streetview. That said, it has everything you would want from an 80's movie based in the Mission district: hookers, voyerism, and Sean Penn with a ridiculously unexplainable southern accent.

90% of the movie takes place at 24th & Alabama

Streetview of the Pawn Shop location

(note the fresh fruit fruit market is still next door)

Dominguez Bakery makes an appearance at 14:30 and is still around.

I wouldn't recommend trying to watch this whole thing. It was pretty painful. That said, if you can tolerate it, there are great moments of 1980's hilarity.

Reporter blows serious chunks on TV

I couldn't help but watch this over and over. You knew it was coming from the title of this post, and yet you'll watch it anyway.

And then you'll watch it again to make sure it wasn't faked. And then once more for good measure. You sick bastard.

(thanks I have seen the whole of the internet)

All Ants are Chinese

At least that's what I concluded from this awesome video. All this talk about collective wills and Chinese walls. Freakin' commie ants.

Either that, or ants are martians. Their structures look like the cover of every 1940's pulp sci fi book I own, which is embarassingly many.

(thanks Presurfer)

Come back, daddy! Where are you going?

Another great post by My First Dictionary.

Luigi is tired of standing in Mario's shadow

I know how you feel, man. I've got an older brother, too. My response was also to take mushrooms.

Seriously though, I have no idea what's going on in Super Smash Bros. either.

(thanks Laughing Squid)

Pygmy Jerboas are surreal

I thought this was CGI'd, but no, according to wikipedia, the all knowing all seeing open source god, says they're real.

(thanks I have seen the whole of the internet)

When nerds want to get high

These guys are maniacs!

These party animals should've been around when my high school friends were buying a case of whippets just for themselves for no other reason than it was a Wednesday night.

(thanks Presurfer)

Want to use Twitter for Marketing?

All you need for doing cutting edge web 3.0 viral social marketing. Find my invaluable advice for marketing with twitter here.

omg these otters are sooo cute RALPH!!!

That's right, these are so cute I actually puked.

This is mainly for Vicky... who am I kidding, it's entirely for Vicky.

(thanks BuzzFeed)

The World According to Americans

The best image I've come across in a while. My favorite is definitely Canada.

Warren Buffet's Gig is Up! - See's Candy Closes on Polk St

This was posted by the landlord of the recently closed See's Candy on Polk between Sacramento and California. He was obviously more than a little pissed at people who were vaguely connected to this chain, but kudos to the owner for standing up for what he believes, even if it's in comprehensible at times.

Full Text:

Headline: Da 9-11 Truth Campaign to End 61 Years of Mass Murder and Plunder for Fascist Gain by Shock and Shame. March 8, 2009, Abuse News #4055 by John Jenkel, 'da 9-11 Bounty Hunter, 800-500-7083, 9-11bountyhunter@neteze.com

Bye Bye, Buffett

Your favorite candy store is gone. The property owner will not do business with people like Warren Buffett who maintain unconstitutional wars for profit. After 9-11, See's Candyman Buffett made a killing selling terrorist act insurance for terrorism that never happen except on this author's horse farm in Sonoma County. Bad Boy Buffett and every member of Congress know that the secret controlled demolitions of the Twin Towers were Enron-sponsored organize crimes designed to look like terrorist acts in an insurance scam perpetrated by World Trade Center principal Larry Silverstein and investor Lloyd Goldman.

'Da See's Candyman was the top Enron speculator. The Enron-sponsored attacks on the Twin Towers were also designed to look like acts of war in order to justify a United States invasion of Afghanistan for Communist China and Japan. United States Energy Czar Dick Cheney was probably the intended target. There were 2,629 accidental NY murders that were not planned by probably planner, desperate Enron builder Ken Lay.

Energy Czar Cheney was, and still is, blocking the trans-Afgnan[sic] pipeline for delivery of Caspian natural gas and oil over the sacred Hindu Kus Mountains to Communist China and to Pakistan for Japan. 9-11 attempted wife killer George w. Bush bowed to Cheney. Equivocator Barack Obama bows to Communist China and Japan. The fool should bow to Michelle Obama. She will probably end up leaving him like Lovely Librarian Laura Bush left Bad Boy Born-again Bush.

The U.S. keeps the truth baout the Enron-sponsored crimes of 9-11 and spending 40% of our tax dollars on mass murder in unconstitutional wars of congressional choice, NEVER necessity, from we the betrayed people. If you would like to help srpead truth from this office at 1519 Polk Street in the heart of San Francisco, please call 800-500-7083. In any case, stay tuned.

Butter Poo, what's not funny about that?

This song made me laugh. And why shouldn't it? The man is tricking people into eating his feces. What's not funny about that?

(thanks I have seen the whole of the internet)

"Who's Going to Save my Soul" by Chris Milk

A follow up to yesterday's posting of "Last Day Dream." The ingenious producer also made the following video that somehow captures a more sincere and authentic aspect of a common cliche.

Who's Gonna Save My Soul from Chris Milk

(thanks Laughing Squid)

Koordinated Kitten

My favorite line is "... and you", right before she nails the lazy bastard in the face.

ps. yes, I realize I could've gone with coordinated cat, but that's no fun.

(thanks VideoSift)

Brian & Eileene had way too much time on their hands

I wonder what video they'll make for their divorce.

Brian & Eileen's Wedding Music Video. from LOCKDOWN projects

I'm sorry, that's cynical. This video actually makes me want to get married. Not have kids or anything, I still say fuck those little money pits.

(thanks Miss Cellania)

A brief history of weed

What Stephen Hawkins would've done if he were a stoner.

How could I not have shared this?

What a good father looks like

I only hope that I, too, can someday be as good a dad. Goddam rebellious babies.

...again with the disturbing first frame.

(thanks Funny or Die)

Last Day Dream by Chris Milk

disturbing, touching, intense.

Last Day Dream [HD] from Chris Milk

... not to mention a disturbing still frame to begin on.

(thanks Ze Frank)

More Auto-Tune Pleeze!

I've posted these guys before, but I really like their work, and this is their newest video.

Auto-tune the News Part 3 - watch more funny videos

(thanks Funny or Die)

Family Guy out of Context 2

the wife he was referring to was Meg, of course.

Pig-B-Gone is Famous!

For Bay to Breakers, I dressed up as a doctor handing out Swine Flu Vaccinations. I named the cure-all "Pig-B-Gone" and made 500 stickers to hand out. After looking through some of the day's pics posted by SFist, I noticed a familiar pattern on a lego costume. I distinctly remember (as much as one can say that at B2B) handing a sticker to large walking lego blocks at some point.

Sure enough, one of my stickers made it online! I'm so proud!

See the rest of the pics here.

Photos: Bay to Breakers 2009 - SFist: San Francisco

I haven't posted pics yet, but Bay to Breakers this year was another great one. This one's for Ryan.

Photos: Bay to Breakers 2009 - SFist: San Francisco

Every young boy's desire

... or at least mine when I was a young lad. I liked to burn things. Who am I kidding, I still do.

Watch Fire Contraption and more funny videos on CollegeHumor

(thanks Miss Cellania)

WARNING: Do not watch without being on mushrooms

If you want to see a much larger version of this, along with an entire fairground full of DIY oddities, be sure to get to the Maker Faire in San Mateo on May 30th & 31st. Bring hallucinogins.

Fluid Sculpture from Charlie Bucket

(thanks Neatorama)

Ryan, this is your future.

I promise to continue sharing everything related to death, metal, and death metal and dedicate it to Ryan.

Hardcore Grandparents - watch more funny videos

(thanks Funny or Die)

The universe hums in b flat.

This brilliant little site encourages you to play some or all of the videos at the same time. I highly recommend all, it's quite a cool experience.

http://www.inbflat.net/

(hint: start playing the third one down on the left about 30 or 45 seconds after you start playing the first video you choose)

I post this out of a sense of duty.

A little while ago, I was commenting on how the Simpsons have become so obviously self-referential as to be patronizing. It seemed like every new episode was filled with over the top references to past shows, and they had lost all sense of subtlety. Although I stand by that statement, the person I was talking to reminded me that I might not felt that way if I hadn't spent significant portions of my college career watching every episode from the first 15 seasons religiously. Oh well.

(thanks Neatorama)

Read the teacher's comments

It's like those tests where it says to read all of the instructions, and at the bottom of the instructions it says you don't have to take the test... except this kid is retarded.

(thanks Shipment of Fail)

VISA will eat your children.

Buy things now. Things good.

VISA is Hungry! - watch more funny videos

*Correction, VISA is a monster that feeds on human poverty, conformism and ignorance.

(Thanks Funny or Die)

I'm not taking the low road with this caption.

Mainly because that would make it three in one round of posting.

Playing Piano with His Balls - The most popular videos are a click away

Natalie Portman feels the power of Awkward.

You can't hide behind the dog, Natalie. Answer the questions!

Between Two Ferns With Zach Galifianakis from Between Two Ferns

Best "Between Two Ferns" yet!

(thanks Funny or Die)

Irrational trends... now in bar chart form!

It's true, rogue nuclear nations have really taken a back seat to more pressing issues. This must have been published before "Miss America Comments" took off.

(thanks Logic + Emotion)

Hippie plays with his balls

back-to-back innuendo posts!

(thanks Look at This)

Beat boxing meets looping machine

This guy could play with himself all day.

Reggie Watts: Out Of Control from Jake Lodwick on Vimeo.

(thanks Laughing Squid)

Pics from Urban Capture the Flag

It was a small group (about 25 of us), but damn fun.

Check out the album here.

Family Guy out of Context

Taking the most ridiculous Family Guy moment from any given episode and put it in isolation... it only gets wierder.

Winnie the Pooh doesn't eff around with Swine Flu

Best swine flu reference I've seen yet.

(thanks I have seen the whole of the Internet)

This is why I tweet... and why I resisted

Really, I just want to get miliseconds closer to the things happening in SF (though I guess I'd have to find someone more plugged into SF events than me and someone who has enough time and sad vanity to tweet about it).

I'm super pissed about missing this because I was actually at this conference representing Website Optimizer and I've been wanting to see this company since I was introduced to them a few months back. ...of course, by tweeting, I come milimeters closer to this guy.

Why all in the metric system? Because it's superior, asshole. Don't question me.

(thanks Laughing Squid)

What all SF Street Signs Aspire To

Then again, at least all of these details are on one sign. In San Francisco, you get one sign per rule, and they are conveniently spaced apart just far enough so that you can't see two at one time.

(thanks Shipment of Fail)

Jon Stewart throwing punches again

Another great interview from Jon Stewart where he takes another mouthpiece of the machine to task. This guy is trying to make the slipperly slope argument to Jon about why we should torture some people some of the time. Jon's not buying it. It's a 20 minute interview, but worth watching.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Photos from Eric Lews - Live @ DNA Lounge

Last week I had the opportunity to see the phenomenal jazz pianist virtuoso Eric Lewis play at the DNA lounge in the SoMa district of San Francisco. It was an amazing event, put on last minute as a benefit concert to raise funds for the legal fees to keep DNA lounge from being closed. I had never heard of him before this event, but it turned out to be one of the best musical performances I've ever heard.

From his better known interpretation of Going Under by Evanescence to reinterpretations of Clocks by Coldplay and Sweet Home Alabama, every piece was blisteringly fast and beautiful in complexity. The audio recordings on my phone turned out horribly, but hopefully someone will post video of this to YouTube soon. It was a magical event, and one I'll never forget. Here are some pics that try to capture his intensity.

(see them all here)

Word is that he'll be back at DNA in June for another concert, but hopefully with a little more forewarning. I'll be there for sure.

(thanks to Laughing Squid for the original post)

Alan! Alan! Alan! Alan!

What's funnier than animal voice overs? Witty animal voiceovers in a british accent, of course.

Great reference to the fighting giraffes, btw. That's one of my all time favorite acts of animal violence.

(thanks Presufer)

Swings on BART: consolation for shooting people

Just got mugged on BART? Swing it off!

Some merry prankster thought it was a good idea to install a swing on BART. Sure, it's all fun and games until a BART cop thinks the swinging is a threat and then shoots you twice in the back.

(thanks Laughing Squid)

What a Baby Fetishist looks like

As if being single and pregnant didn't make her enough of a whore, this one goes looking for sex. Well, I say she gets what she deserves. If she's going to creep out men with her life-bearing belly, some man has to step up and creep her out.

Casual Sex Episode Two: Play Date from Andrea Savage

Mission accomplished.

(thanks Funny or Die)

(two sex posts in a row, for those paying attention)

A Sexy Graph... without context

Sure, my married brother might be having more sex than me, but with the same person over and over... and for the sake of making babies. Gross.

(thanks Miss Cellania)

Scrabble Gets Hip as All Get Out

The classic board game for word addicts released a series of super hip, slightly confusing animated ads.

Here are two more.

(thanks Laughing Squid)

My New Favorite Comic

The Perry Bible Fellowship

Goes right up there with My First Dictionary (which is amazing, btw, if you haven't been following it)

Unicorns and Rainbows on ESPN.com

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/playoffs/2009/news/story?id=4105618

Go to this page and type in the Konami code on your keyboard:

up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A

Every time you type a key on that page after that, unicorns and rainbows and all sorts of sparkley magical things start to appear. That is either one queer programmer or one bored, non-malicious hacker.

For the Dartmouth kids: bragging rights.

I know I've heard you say it, but now it's on the intertron in a very authoritative graphic form.

See the rest of the timeline here.

Honorable mention for second best quote: "c. 1300: Monastaries and pubs begin brewing beer for mass consumption. Coincidentally, the Renaissance begins."

(thanks Laughing Squid)

Marriage Proposal FAIL

This one didn't make it into the blog somehow, but I laughed so damn long and hard at this I had to watch it a few times over.

The Not-so-secret motivations of the Guitar player revealed

Well, as if we were being too subtle, this guy lays it out on the table. Favorite quotes are the first and the last:

"Why don't you help yourself with something, specifically in the refrigerator"

"Hey, what's that?" (slam.)

runner-up: "Maybe I'll mention The Notebook, cause girls seem to love that movie"

Sensitive - watch more funny videos

(thanks Funny or Die)

If the makers of Ikea produced YouTube

Not that this video actually has anything to do with Ikea, but it's called Noteboek by Evelien Lohbeck. Those crazy Swedes. Crazy, but entertaining.

Noteboek from Evelien Lohbeck on Vimeo.

(thanks Laughing Squid)

Like, we sometimes adapt our language to our needs, you know?

Is 'like' the virus of the English language? Maybe not, but that's no excuse for a person not having a diverse vocabulary. Anyone who thinks differently should be punched in the face, cause that's how we roll.

Quick Fix: Is 'Like' the Virus of the English Language? - watch more funny videos

(thanks Funny or Die)

Moray McLaren - We Got Time AKA Video is better than the Song

It's a half decent song, but the video is absolutely amazing. And all shot live, too, no editing other than carefully controlling the frames per second. Be sure to watch the "making of" video below, too. Last I checked it had more views than the actual video.

Here's the Making Of

Definitely taking the place of "Favorite Indy Music Video paired with Lame Song". Sorry Oren.

(thank Miss Cellania)

No, I'm not friending you, Mom

A rather insightful visualization of the adoption curve for all things cool... as of late, that certainly includes social networks. They left out one step, though. Right before "no, I'm not friending you, mom," there needs to be a step labeled:

"douchebags give speeches at conferences about 'how to use the tool for branding' as if they know what the hell they're talking about / businesses sign up for accounts and look like bigger douchebags / Oprah talks about it."

(thanks Logic + Emotion)

Jack Black & Michael Cera have a baby

I never get tired of Michael's delivery.

(thanks Presurfer)

The Catholic Church gets honest for once

... but in the saddest way possible

Catholic Church logo from 1973. I always wondered if the Priests all knew that there brethren were doing the same dirty deeds. Apprently they not only knew, it was part of their mission statement.

(thanks Shipment of Fail)

It's my cat in a box

I don't usually post kitten videos, but I loved watching this cat jump out of the box.

(thanks Neatorama)

Finally, Street View for the Simpson

Well, not quite, but close enough. Play around with the map here, dredge up old memories, realize how much a role this show played in your development, feel sad about that.

(thanks Laughing Squid)

eff-bomb gets dropped on FOX news

Just because you keep saying America doesn't torture doesn't make it true. Until you start getting Real, then it's true.

This was a censored clip from a longer interview, in which Shep is still pretty heated.

Four wheels good, two wheels better

... and at times, one wheel best. This 5 minute video is worth watching all the way through. This dude defines badass. I caught myself more than once leaning into his turns and sweating when things got tight. Rock on, you rebel, rock on.

(thanks Miss Cellania)

Saddest thing I've seen today...

Also the funniest.

(thanks Picture is Unrelated)

Social Media Rockabilly teaches us.

So many social references. Really, I just love the Google Analytics reference.

(thanks Miss Cellania)

Finally, Google Bombing with a purpose.

Searching 241543903 on Google Images produces pictures of people with their heads stuck in freezers. Why? Why not?

(thanks Laughing Squid)

Google Maps now teaches the alphabet!

You have a horse... now what?

This is where flowcharts come in handy

(thanks Miss Cellania)

Putting Public Transportation in its place

Someone needs to do this in San Francisco (especially considering the recent budget cuts).

and that someone might be me? We'll see.

(thanks Shipment of fail)

Cleveland Rocks! Kinda...

Whatever, just visit us... we need your money.

(thanks Laughing Squid)

Biking Skillz - Danny MacAskill

The most amazing bike tricks you've ever seen...

...to what I believe is Coldplay.

The blog clog is unplugged....

hope you're ready what's coming.

We are online friends. That is all.

Online relationships can be sooo deep. I'm glad we have established our dialogue. Maybe some day we can get invested... in bed

(link)

Multiplication Matrix of Comic Archetypes

More things should be in timestables.

(thanks Creebobby)

McDonald's little secret

funny.

Rejected McDonalds Commercial - watch more funny videos

(thanks Funny or Die)

Preview for "Carousel" - A short film by Adam Berg

An artistic and fantastical stunt that I'm sure took unimaginable amounts of coordination. Apparently an ad for a new tv coming out by Philips, but entertaining, nonetheless.

BYOBW is now a WTF!

The Bring Your Own Big Wheel event in San Francisco is always a freakshow on tricycles. I always thought it was weird, but didn't realize just how strange it looked up until it showed up in the blog "Picture is Unrelated - WTF pictures and videos".

Where have all the Samuri's Gone?

At least that's what the Japanese Paula Jones would be singing. Seriously, though, why aren't there more of these people? This stuff is legendary.

(thanks Neatorama)

Now this is how you raise a child. Honesty. Brutal, terrifying honesty. In a way the child will understand, of course.

www.MyFirstDictionary.blogspot.com for more.

Monsieur Homme de Pac (aka Pac Man) is a social menace

What will those crazy frenchmen think of next?

PAC MAN (REMI GAILLARD)
Uploaded by nqtv

(thanks Miss Cellania)

Nintendo References and Dancing Deaf Chinese Women

...not in the same video, of course.

So many great references, the memories come flooding back.

It's only going to get harder to accept the fact that, with 1.3 billion people, China has 5 times as many statistical phenoms as the US.

ps. I would love to watch this while on lots of fun drugs.

(thanks for both, Laughing Squid)