Warren Buffet's Gig is Up! - See's Candy Closes on Polk St

This was posted by the landlord of the recently closed See's Candy on Polk between Sacramento and California. He was obviously more than a little pissed at people who were vaguely connected to this chain, but kudos to the owner for standing up for what he believes, even if it's in comprehensible at times.

Full Text:

Headline: Da 9-11 Truth Campaign to End 61 Years of Mass Murder and Plunder for Fascist Gain by Shock and Shame. March 8, 2009, Abuse News #4055 by John Jenkel, 'da 9-11 Bounty Hunter, 800-500-7083, 9-11bountyhunter@neteze.com

Bye Bye, Buffett

Your favorite candy store is gone. The property owner will not do business with people like Warren Buffett who maintain unconstitutional wars for profit. After 9-11, See's Candyman Buffett made a killing selling terrorist act insurance for terrorism that never happen except on this author's horse farm in Sonoma County. Bad Boy Buffett and every member of Congress know that the secret controlled demolitions of the Twin Towers were Enron-sponsored organize crimes designed to look like terrorist acts in an insurance scam perpetrated by World Trade Center principal Larry Silverstein and investor Lloyd Goldman.

'Da See's Candyman was the top Enron speculator. The Enron-sponsored attacks on the Twin Towers were also designed to look like acts of war in order to justify a United States invasion of Afghanistan for Communist China and Japan. United States Energy Czar Dick Cheney was probably the intended target. There were 2,629 accidental NY murders that were not planned by probably planner, desperate Enron builder Ken Lay.

Energy Czar Cheney was, and still is, blocking the trans-Afgnan[sic] pipeline for delivery of Caspian natural gas and oil over the sacred Hindu Kus Mountains to Communist China and to Pakistan for Japan. 9-11 attempted wife killer George w. Bush bowed to Cheney. Equivocator Barack Obama bows to Communist China and Japan. The fool should bow to Michelle Obama. She will probably end up leaving him like Lovely Librarian Laura Bush left Bad Boy Born-again Bush.

The U.S. keeps the truth baout the Enron-sponsored crimes of 9-11 and spending 40% of our tax dollars on mass murder in unconstitutional wars of congressional choice, NEVER necessity, from we the betrayed people. If you would like to help srpead truth from this office at 1519 Polk Street in the heart of San Francisco, please call 800-500-7083. In any case, stay tuned.

Butter Poo, what's not funny about that?

This song made me laugh. And why shouldn't it? The man is tricking people into eating his feces. What's not funny about that?

(thanks I have seen the whole of the internet)

"Who's Going to Save my Soul" by Chris Milk

A follow up to yesterday's posting of "Last Day Dream." The ingenious producer also made the following video that somehow captures a more sincere and authentic aspect of a common cliche.

Who's Gonna Save My Soul from Chris Milk

(thanks Laughing Squid)

Koordinated Kitten

My favorite line is "... and you", right before she nails the lazy bastard in the face.

ps. yes, I realize I could've gone with coordinated cat, but that's no fun.

(thanks VideoSift)

Brian & Eileene had way too much time on their hands

I wonder what video they'll make for their divorce.

Brian & Eileen's Wedding Music Video. from LOCKDOWN projects

I'm sorry, that's cynical. This video actually makes me want to get married. Not have kids or anything, I still say fuck those little money pits.

(thanks Miss Cellania)

A brief history of weed

What Stephen Hawkins would've done if he were a stoner.

How could I not have shared this?

What a good father looks like

I only hope that I, too, can someday be as good a dad. Goddam rebellious babies.

...again with the disturbing first frame.

(thanks Funny or Die)

Last Day Dream by Chris Milk

disturbing, touching, intense.

Last Day Dream [HD] from Chris Milk

... not to mention a disturbing still frame to begin on.

(thanks Ze Frank)

More Auto-Tune Pleeze!

I've posted these guys before, but I really like their work, and this is their newest video.

Auto-tune the News Part 3 - watch more funny videos

(thanks Funny or Die)

Family Guy out of Context 2

the wife he was referring to was Meg, of course.

Pig-B-Gone is Famous!

For Bay to Breakers, I dressed up as a doctor handing out Swine Flu Vaccinations. I named the cure-all "Pig-B-Gone" and made 500 stickers to hand out. After looking through some of the day's pics posted by SFist, I noticed a familiar pattern on a lego costume. I distinctly remember (as much as one can say that at B2B) handing a sticker to large walking lego blocks at some point.

Sure enough, one of my stickers made it online! I'm so proud!

See the rest of the pics here.

Photos: Bay to Breakers 2009 - SFist: San Francisco

I haven't posted pics yet, but Bay to Breakers this year was another great one. This one's for Ryan.

Photos: Bay to Breakers 2009 - SFist: San Francisco

Every young boy's desire

... or at least mine when I was a young lad. I liked to burn things. Who am I kidding, I still do.

Watch Fire Contraption and more funny videos on CollegeHumor

(thanks Miss Cellania)

WARNING: Do not watch without being on mushrooms

If you want to see a much larger version of this, along with an entire fairground full of DIY oddities, be sure to get to the Maker Faire in San Mateo on May 30th & 31st. Bring hallucinogins.

Fluid Sculpture from Charlie Bucket

(thanks Neatorama)

Ryan, this is your future.

I promise to continue sharing everything related to death, metal, and death metal and dedicate it to Ryan.

Hardcore Grandparents - watch more funny videos

(thanks Funny or Die)

The universe hums in b flat.

This brilliant little site encourages you to play some or all of the videos at the same time. I highly recommend all, it's quite a cool experience.

http://www.inbflat.net/

(hint: start playing the third one down on the left about 30 or 45 seconds after you start playing the first video you choose)

I post this out of a sense of duty.

A little while ago, I was commenting on how the Simpsons have become so obviously self-referential as to be patronizing. It seemed like every new episode was filled with over the top references to past shows, and they had lost all sense of subtlety. Although I stand by that statement, the person I was talking to reminded me that I might not felt that way if I hadn't spent significant portions of my college career watching every episode from the first 15 seasons religiously. Oh well.

(thanks Neatorama)

Read the teacher's comments

It's like those tests where it says to read all of the instructions, and at the bottom of the instructions it says you don't have to take the test... except this kid is retarded.

(thanks Shipment of Fail)

VISA will eat your children.

Buy things now. Things good.

VISA is Hungry! - watch more funny videos

*Correction, VISA is a monster that feeds on human poverty, conformism and ignorance.

(Thanks Funny or Die)

I'm not taking the low road with this caption.

Mainly because that would make it three in one round of posting.

Playing Piano with His Balls - The most popular videos are a click away

Natalie Portman feels the power of Awkward.

You can't hide behind the dog, Natalie. Answer the questions!

Between Two Ferns With Zach Galifianakis from Between Two Ferns

Best "Between Two Ferns" yet!

(thanks Funny or Die)

Irrational trends... now in bar chart form!

It's true, rogue nuclear nations have really taken a back seat to more pressing issues. This must have been published before "Miss America Comments" took off.

(thanks Logic + Emotion)

Hippie plays with his balls

back-to-back innuendo posts!

(thanks Look at This)

Beat boxing meets looping machine

This guy could play with himself all day.

Reggie Watts: Out Of Control from Jake Lodwick on Vimeo.

(thanks Laughing Squid)

Pics from Urban Capture the Flag

It was a small group (about 25 of us), but damn fun.

Check out the album here.

Family Guy out of Context

Taking the most ridiculous Family Guy moment from any given episode and put it in isolation... it only gets wierder.

Winnie the Pooh doesn't eff around with Swine Flu

Best swine flu reference I've seen yet.

(thanks I have seen the whole of the Internet)

This is why I tweet... and why I resisted

Really, I just want to get miliseconds closer to the things happening in SF (though I guess I'd have to find someone more plugged into SF events than me and someone who has enough time and sad vanity to tweet about it).

I'm super pissed about missing this because I was actually at this conference representing Website Optimizer and I've been wanting to see this company since I was introduced to them a few months back. ...of course, by tweeting, I come milimeters closer to this guy.

Why all in the metric system? Because it's superior, asshole. Don't question me.

(thanks Laughing Squid)

What all SF Street Signs Aspire To

Then again, at least all of these details are on one sign. In San Francisco, you get one sign per rule, and they are conveniently spaced apart just far enough so that you can't see two at one time.

(thanks Shipment of Fail)

Jon Stewart throwing punches again

Another great interview from Jon Stewart where he takes another mouthpiece of the machine to task. This guy is trying to make the slipperly slope argument to Jon about why we should torture some people some of the time. Jon's not buying it. It's a 20 minute interview, but worth watching.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Photos from Eric Lews - Live @ DNA Lounge

Last week I had the opportunity to see the phenomenal jazz pianist virtuoso Eric Lewis play at the DNA lounge in the SoMa district of San Francisco. It was an amazing event, put on last minute as a benefit concert to raise funds for the legal fees to keep DNA lounge from being closed. I had never heard of him before this event, but it turned out to be one of the best musical performances I've ever heard.

From his better known interpretation of Going Under by Evanescence to reinterpretations of Clocks by Coldplay and Sweet Home Alabama, every piece was blisteringly fast and beautiful in complexity. The audio recordings on my phone turned out horribly, but hopefully someone will post video of this to YouTube soon. It was a magical event, and one I'll never forget. Here are some pics that try to capture his intensity.

(see them all here)

Word is that he'll be back at DNA in June for another concert, but hopefully with a little more forewarning. I'll be there for sure.

(thanks to Laughing Squid for the original post)